


Five's Day off

by Skaurple



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Blood, Canon Compliant, Comic Book References, Crack Treated Seriously, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Humor & Angst, Not Beta Read, Number Five | The Boy-centric, PTSD, Post Season 2, Rated T for language, Sibling Bonding, Spoilers for S2, attempts in being domestic lmao oop, listen there’s a pool scene what more can you ask for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25982326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skaurple/pseuds/Skaurple
Summary: Arriving back home, Five decides to take a day off to experience life without an impending apocalypse to worry about. The only problem being, his panicked siblings are on a manhunt for him around the city. Sure, the Umbrella Academy ceased to exist but it wasn’t a problem that needed immediate attention, right?OR Five procrastinates fixing the timeline by trying to have a good time.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) & Everyone
Comments: 77
Kudos: 391





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d like to thank my beta, Grammarly. I’m lost without her, life is not the same without her red underlines.

**[12:00 PM]**

There was nothing quite as refreshing than a Piña Colada after a long day of work, especially when the scorching hot sun showed no mercy on the city below. Five stepped outside for the first time since his arrival and expected April showers. The reminder of global warming greeted him instead. A perfect day for a swim, he reckoned.

The pool water was colder than Five anticipated, but it mattered not, only his hands and feet got wet as he lay lifelessly on a neon pink flamingo floaty. He could not quite pinpoint when, maybe the boos were finally kicking in, but somewhere along the way, he managed to grab himself a fancy pair of sunglasses. A bit boujee for his taste; the golden sparkled rims were a bit much, but it sufficed.

He tilted it down the bridge of his nose when a massive shadow blanketed over him. His eyes raked the culprit before he sighed and pulled his sunglasses back up.

“Luther,” said Five, “your skyscraper of a body is blocking the sun.”

Five did not have to look up to gauge his brother’s reaction, the image was clear in his mind. Luther rolling his eyes in annoyance: Luther wanting to say something back, Luther reminding himself there were more pressing matters to address, so he just put his pettiness aside. He settled on a question: “Can you get out of the pool? I want to talk to you.”

Five shook his head. “I don’t understand. We’re talking right now, aren’t we?”

“That’s not—“

“Seriously, Luther, can you take about three steps to your left? It’s important for my pubescent teenage body to get the necessary dose of vitamin D.”

Not before a huff of frustration does the shadow slowly move to the side. Beads of sweat quickly formed on Five’s forehead as the heat rays hit his pale skin.

“You know,” said Luther, probably crossing his arms, or at least trying to with those cartoonishly large muscles of his, “If you wanted a tan, maybe you should wear something other than your uniform for once.”

Yes, Five managed to grab alcohol and some sunglasses but did not bother to change out of his uniform. And what about it? Fashion was never his strong suit. Saving the world was.

Five used his feet to push off the wall of the pool and he drifted towards the middle. He tried to take another sip of his Piña Colada only to be reminded that his glass was empty after two seconds of having it in his possession. Grumbling, he threw the glass over his shoulder and exhaled out of his nose. “What do you want?” He begrudgingly asked.

“Uh, an explanation, maybe?” Answered Luther. “You left without telling any of us where you went. Which by the way, you couldn’t have picked a worse time to do so. We just found out that the Umbrella Academy doesn’t exist, and your first instinct is to run away to some random person’s backyard pool? We had to split up and find you; we thought you left our asses to go to another timeline again!”

Five scoffed. “Do you see the hypocrisy here?” He finally turned his head to glance at his brother. He was right, Luther’s arms were crossed unnaturally, and he looked uncomfortable. “You idiots have made it a trademark to split up and disappear when I specifically advise against it, so I think I’m allowed to be inconvenient for this family at least once. And also, why am I the only one being yelled at?” He gestured over to the other end of the pool, “Klaus is here too.”

Klaus, wearing nothing but a thin cloth that barely qualified as a speedo, laid chest down on a circular pizza float. He raised his flask in greeting, and Luther thinned his lips at him. “It’s expected of Klaus.”

Five could not entirely disagree, nor did he have the will to do so out loud, so he stayed silent and listened to the distant sound of chirping birds. Hazel would say it was peaceful. Five thought it was annoying.

“Five, I get it, you’re stressed,” Luther continued, “I honestly don’t understand how you’ve managed to keep at least _somewhat_ sane considering all the doomsday scenarios you have been through. But you know better than anyone else that if we keep putting this off, our reality will only get worse."

Five would have almost considered Luther’s words if Klaus hadn’t budded in and blurted, “Oh, relax, Luther. Give the kid a break!” He sounded muffled with his face planted against the float. “All this moodiness and rebellion; it’s a healthy part of puberty. He’ll crash a few frat parties, maybe get a few numbers depending how much of a playboy he is, drink one too many beers for his tiny wittle tummy to handle, regret his decision, and sneak back home through the window unnoticed. When he wakes up with a hangover, he’ll come to his senses and reluctantly go back to business as usual. Simple as that!”

Luther waved his hands in protest. “No, see, that’s the problem; he doesn’t have a home to sneak into. We ALL don’t have a home to sneak into because we screwed up the friggin’ timeline!”

Klaus was too busy swatting away a pesky little insect buzzing in his ear to give credit to Luther’s logic. He wasn’t the one Luther was trying to get through anyway. He let out a deep breath before catching Five’s eye and saying, “We can’t just ignore this, Five.”

Luther was frowning like a kicked puppy and it almost made Five feel something. Was this pity or was he just tired? Again, he couldn’t be arsed to delve deeper into the facts. 

Five tilted his sunglasses back down and noted that his socks and shoes were behind Luther. “Alright, I accept your challenge,” affirmed Five.

“What?” Luther squinted at him in confusion. “No, I wasn’t challenging you at all—“

In a blink of an eye, Five was no longer resting on the neon pink flamingo. Puppy dog Luther whipped around in circles like he was chasing his tail, but his little twerp of a brother had already made his escape.

Here’s the thing about the Hargreeves; they’re stubborn; they rarely listen because they think they’re smarter than each other when in fact, the only sibling to have garnered a single brain cell is dead (dead, but not anymore, apparently). Now, if Luther listened carefully, he would have heard the screams of a poor elderly woman in the distance. If he had followed the scream, he would have easily found Five being scorned by previously mentioned poor elderly women after he performed his reappearing act in front of her. But Luther wasn’t listening. It often felt like no one was.

Five escaped the elderly woman and hopped down the sidewalk on one foot in an attempt to put on his shoes and socks. Newly in his possession was Luther’s wallet. Five grimaced at its contents and regret engulfed his conscience. You’d think working for Jack Ruby would keep you stable, but apparently, he only paid in quarters. If Five had put more thought into his game plan, he’d conclude that Klaus’ funds would have been a better bet; the weirdo was probably loaded with his holier than thou messiah statues. Enraged at himself, Five kicked a rock, and it skidded across the sidewalk. What was the use of putting only five dollars and fifty-seven cents into his temporary retirement?

Yes, that’s what he dubbed it, his _temporary retirement_. From a quick glance, it may seem Klaus was right; Five’s teenage hormones were kicking in full force. However, the actual cause behind Five’s rebellion and moodiness was his reluctance in taking a single vacation day in all his sixty years of life. Not to mention, ever since he reunited with his siblings, it had felt like he was forced into parenthood and his kids were five adult idiots. He wanted to get to that stage where he sent them off to college and only worry about them when the holidays arrived. Perhaps in the classes they took, they’d finally learn basic human skills like teamwork and communication. Then maybe, just maybe, Five no longer had to carry his family on his aching back anymore. He could finally sit back and relax like Klaus freely does without question. He could enjoy his cocktail without his appetite being ruined by his siblings running towards him with panic in their eyes.

“FIVE, YOU SON OF A BITCH,” a familiar voice hollered down the street, “DON’T BE THINKIN’ I DON'T SEE YOU!!”

Five winced and stopped in his tracks. He removed his sunglasses and squinted in an attempt to see who exactly the dot bolting toward him was in the very, very far distance. As the dot came closer and formed somewhat of a person, he could confirm that it was Diego in his default state of madness.

“Goddamnit,” muttered Five. Diego still had a ways to go until he reached Five, so Five stood still with his hands in his pocket, watching him in deep contemplation.

If Five were being honest, he found Diego’s course of action rather peculiar. Diego was never the brightest, but this was on a more confusing level of stupidity. Why, when he was more than a block away, would Diego choose to bring attention to himself? Five could easily escape before his arrival, thanks to Diego’s premature warning. Why even bother sprinting? Would it not be more strategic for Diego to be as sneaky as possible, and when it’s least expected, take Five down? And wasn’t his ankle under a tractor just a few hours ago? He must have been so pumped up on adrenaline, the pain of his fractured bones had turned into fuel for his never-ending rage. Five did not know whether or not to be impressed or absolutely baffled. Probably both.

The sound of Diego’s war cry made Five blink out of his thoughts and—oh, holy shit, had five minutes already passed? Diego was getting pretty close now. His goal was probably to tackle Five to the ground and they’d end up wrestling until someone was eventually hogtied. Five winced at the idea; it did not sound all too appealing.

Diego kept intense eye contact with him, his knives were out, his teeth clenched, and the fire in his eyes completely blinded him. He made it known he was ready for the kill.

Five, on the other hand, had food on his mind. He wondered if there was a pizza parlor closeby. Maybe a cheap slice would settle his rumbling stomach?

If this were the super bowl, there would be a slow-motion play by play of the epic yet tragic series of events to come: Diego, now at arm's length, reached for Five with grabby hands, as if a baby demanding for their rattle. Five will admit, he did feel Diego’s fingertips graze his shoulders ever so slightly, but it was no match for his speed. With the grace of a gazelle trotting across the savannas, Five stepped aside at the last second. His right foot, however, was stretched out in front of Diego’s path. Now, this was a tactic Diego was least prepared for. The fire in his eyes dispersed as he tripped over Five’s foot, and it sent him flying in the air. It was actually quite a beautiful sight if you ignored the context behind it and replaced Diego’s uncontrollable cursing with Beethoven’s 5th Symphony. As for his crash landing; there was no hiding its gruesome reality. Bones cracked at impact. His body slid across the pavement, scraping his bare skin. Blood spilt from his nose as he lay on the sidewalk and, for a while, he was motionless. Touchdown?

Five went up to him and nudged the side of his stomach with his foot. “Hey, I didn’t kill you, did I?”

After a second, Diego let out a pained groan.

“Good,” Five said, pleasantly surprised. He crouched down to Diego’s level and patted him down gently.

“What….” Diego’s eyes opened carefully. He had a coughing fit before finishing his sentence, “What are you doing?” His voice came out all distorted sounding. Like his voice box was put through a meat grinder repeatedly.

Five did not respond until he searched all of his brother’s pockets. “Do you have any money on you?” After an awkward beat of silence, Five felt inclined to add, “I haven’t eaten in a while.”

Diego blinked at him slowly. “We have food at home.”

“No, we don’t. That’s impossible,” claimed Five, “we’re homeless; we don’t have a home to have food in.”

Diego frowned. “So this is it, huh? You’re finally giving up. After all the bullshit, this was the final nail in the coffin.”

The accusation had Five truly baffled. His brows furrowed, and he made sure to look into Diego’s eyes as he said, “I’m not giving up. Giving up is never an option for this family. I just—“ The wrinkles on his forehead smoothened as he chose his next words carefully. “I need time for myself. It’s been a rough two weeks. I’d like some time to process it all.”

He awaited some sort of response or at least a snide comment from Diego, but shockingly he kept silent. The only audible sound he omitted was a low, raspy growl with every inhale and exhale he took. It almost sounded like he was snoring.

“Uh, earth to idiot?” Five snapped his fingers and leaned in closer to make sure he was hearing things correctly. “Did you seriously just fall asleep?”

“No, dipshit,” he answered immediately, “Something’s wrong with my lungs. Every time I breathe, I sound like a broken lawnmower. So, thanks for that.”

“Yeah, maybe watch where you’re going next time.”

“Piece of shit,” Diego murmured under his breath. He let out a tired sigh before instructing Five to flip him over onto his back. “My wallet is in my front pocket. Take the twenty.”

Five glared at Diego with uncertainty before doing what he was told. He grinned when finding the money but the longer he looked at it in his hands, the more his dimples faded away. The paper bill stared blankly at him. Five stared back with guilt. “Forget it,” he said, putting the money back in his brother’s wallet, “Luther was right. We shouldn’t waste any more time. Just take me to where everyone is, and we can get started on a plan—“

Five was stunned for only a millisecond when Diego yanked him closer by his collar. “Five,” Diego whispered harshly into his ear, teeth-gritting together. “If you don’t take the money, then that would mean I got tripped over by a toddler for no apparent goddamn reason. There better be an apparent goddamn reason so I can look back at this moment and believe I sacrificed my ribcage for a notable cause. Just take the money, or I’ll smack you silly, sound cool?”

It was an empty threat; Five could tell. But even if Diego was serious, it still wasn’t much of a threat. Five pocketed the money anyways, and Diego pushed him away. “Sounds great,” said Five with a smirk that masked itself as sly, but he was genuinely thankful.

Five stood back up and noticed the rips on Diego’s clothing, showcasing the scrapes he endured. It was nothing new from what Five was used to seeing, but it still made him cringe. “You should probably consider going to a hospital,” he suggested.

Diego stared blankly at the sky. A few red robins flew by. “Nah, think I’ll just chill here. I’ll move when a bird shits on me or something.” Before Five could show any concern for his brother's physical and mental state, Diego wondered out loud, “How long do you think you’ll be gone for?”

“The whole day, I suppose. Just find me at the Super Star bowling alley by midnight.” He called it a _temporary_ retirement for a reason. It wasn’t like he was going to ditch his family forever. They needed Five as much as Five needed them.

“You know your way around the city, right?” Asked Five almost shyly, “Do you have any recommendations for where I could get a decent slice of pizza?”

Diego wasn’t much of a pizza guy but suggested a friendly bar about ten minutes away that he usually frequented. “Hold on,” he said, just as Five began walking away. “You’re gonna want to keep your head up. I’m pretty sure the others are still hunting you down.”

Unbothered, Five shrugged and waved him off. “I don’t think there’s been a time in my life where I haven’t been hunted, and that includes the beginning. I think I’ll manage.”

Five warped further down the street until he made it to an intersection. He watched cars pass to unknown destinations, while buses stopped by the nearby bus shelter. On the other side of the road laid the centre of the bustling city. Five stepped onto the street but was stopped by a stranger who put their arm in front of him like it was an open invitation to dislocate it. He glared at the stranger and his eyes were immediately blinded by the neon yellow vest she wore. The whistle hanging in her mouth kept her from speaking, but the giant red sign that read ‘STOP’ was enough for Five to understand. Like the other pedestrians around him, he waited until it was safe to cross the road.

From a distance, he took in the view of the city. Heavy traffic covered the roads, high glass buildings stood tall in the clouds, businesspeople swallowed in expensive grey suits marched to their jobs, while shoppers sauntered through one store to another. What a mundane sight to behold, yet the boy stood wordlessly.

When he didn’t have nightmares, he had many dreams of what this exact moment would feel like, yet feeling ill-prepared wasn’t what he predicted. Perhaps it was the shock of it all; nothing he was seeing felt entirely real. He feared he was going to wake up at any moment with a full beard grown on his chin. He would look ahead, and there would be nothing but broken structures covered in dust. He’d search for help but only have Delores to turn to.

The loud whistle sent Five back to the present. Quickly he made it to the other side of the crosswalk right as the counter reached zero.

Before he walked any further into the city, he paused by the curb and squeezed his eyes shut just for a moment. Five did what no Hargreeves did; he listened. There were loud honkings of impatient cars to his right. Obnoxious music coming from a storefront to his left. The heels click-clacking behind him then passed him. Countless conversations of strangers that shoved his shoulder as they walked by.

He opened his eyes back up. The world was still turning, and he could finally live for a day.

**[12:34 PM]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! The chapter numbers might change so beware. 
> 
> Tumblr: benny-phantom


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ty again to my beta, Grammarly. Truly a champ. 
> 
> (But fr sorry for any mistakes)

**[MEANWHILE]**

When Vanya and Allison found Diego, he was on the side of the road being scolded by an elderly woman. She identified Diego as a ‘no good delinquent’ who had been vandalizing the neighbourhood with his dripping blood. Her grandchildren were absolutely ‘traumatized’ by the sight, as told by the sparkly ‘L’ they scribbled on his forehead.

It took some extra convincing from Allison, but Diego managed to escape without any criminal fines attached. The siblings scurried out of the neighbourhood and the sisters stayed by Diego’s side to keep him stable. The city buildings began to peek through the horizon the further they travelled down the street.

Being one of the more responsible siblings, Allison was left in charge of the commission briefcase. She immediately used it as a weapon and smacked it into Diego’s stomach. He wheezed and bent down. No matter his pain, Allison persisted forward and Diego was forced to move along with her. Vanya was more sympathetic, choosing to rub circles around his back.

“What the hell could you have possibly gotten yourself into?!” Allison snapped at Diego, “We left you alone for like ten minutes!”

He let out an annoyed groan. “Would you relax—“

“Relax?!” Her sharp glare could cut through titanium. “Diego, you look like you just got hit by a car!”

“Oof, been there,” murmured Vanya.

“I didn’t get hit by a car, I tripped.”

Allison stared at him blankly. “You tripped.”

“Yeah, over my shoelace.”

Allison put their scurrying to a sudden halt, causing Diego and Vanya to jolt backwards. They stopped at an intersection where pedestrians were waiting to cross the road. Regardless of the audience, Allison squinted at Diego closely, like she was trying to figure out if a bug flew into his eye. The longer she looked, the closer her face inched towards his. She paused right before the tips of their noses could touch.

“Oh, my God…” Allison uttered through her clenched teeth. “You found Five.”

Startled by her sudden revelation, Diego gulped. “Nah—“ Allison slapped his arm, stopping him from finishing his sentence. “Ow, what the hell?!” He yelled and jumped backwards.

“Tell us where he is,” demanded Allison.

“I don’t—“

Allison raised her palm and Diego flinched back again. “Don’t make me count to three,” she threatened with all the conviction her motherly instincts could muster.

“Allison, I am a grown-ass man—”

“ONE,” she announced steadily.

“Are you serious—“

“TWO.”

“I’m not playing this game with you—“

When she reached three, she began rabidly slapping his arm with force meant to leave marks.

Diego tried to block her attacks but to no avail. “Ow, ow, stop!” She didn’t stop. “How the hell should I know where that little shit is? He teleports, like, every five seconds. I swear, the kid has ADHD or something— I said STOP!” Diego got a hold of her wrist. She tried to pull away, but his grip only got tighter. “Allison, trust me, we’re better off just letting him go.”

The rage in her eyes instantly vanished, as if a spell was broken. What replaced it was disbelief. “How could you even say that?” Allison faltered, “He’s our brother, we need him with us.”

“I know, but we gotta be patient for now, alright? He‘ll come back soon.” Diego slowly loosened his grip on Allison's wrist as her scowl turned into something much more venerable. It was an all too familiar look of defeat and hopelessness that was far from being restored.

“I’ve been patient for three years.” Allison gazed downward. “I just want to be able to see my daughter again.” Wordlessly, she walked away and her siblings watched in guilt as she sat down alone in a bus shelter nearby.

Vanya went to follow her but was abruptly held back by Diego, lightly wrapping his fingers around her forearm. She cocked her head and asked him what was wrong. As he hesitated to speak, Vanya waited patiently for him to find his words.

“He’s in the city,” Diego quietly confessed.

Vanya looked off to the high buildings in the distance, confused. “Doing what?”

“Taking it easy. It’s his day off.”

“Okay,” Vanya said slowly after a moment of silent thinking, “well, what are we waiting for? We gotta go find him, right?”

Diego left her without a response. Something in the sky caught his attention. There was nothing notable other than the rare sightings of red robins and clouds that formed a picture if you squint hard enough. Vanya would ask what Diego was thinking about but she didn’t think she’d get an answer.

She offered a comforting hand on his shoulder before slipping out of his grasp and running off towards the city by herself.

**[12:34 PM]**

There was a youthful grin plastered on Five’s face and a newfound spring to his walk. To curious strangers, it seemed like the teenage boy had done something mischievous. Perhaps he skipped school to go to the mall or stole a pack of gum from the convenience store. In reality, he held no such secrets. What brought him such a wide smile was the childhood memory of walking this exact path with his siblings. He pictured them by his side, licking the ice cream their father bought them after another successful mission. Luther made fun of Diego for making a mess on his uniform, and Diego responded by sticking his tongue out. Allison and Klaus had their arms linked as they pointed at fancy clothing in every store display they’d passed. Five stuck with Ben and discussed the recent novel they just finished, which would always spark some sort of friendly disagreement. As for Vanya, she stayed home. There were no rewards for unremarkable children.

Five often wondered what happened in the timeline where he didn’t run away. Maybe he understood Vanya better. Maybe they both weren’t forced to know the feeling of loneliness so well.

Somewhere along the way, the spring in Five’s walk evolved into something much braver— he was skipping. It started slow and unsure; the pattern of stepping forward and hopping was nothing his legs were completely comfortable with. He looked rigid with his hands hidden in his pocket, and his nose scrunched in concentration. Once he got the hang of it, he let his arms swing loosely beside him. The wind blew through his hair as his pace quickened. His dimples depended and, there it was again, that youthful grin that’s been hiding all these years. Oh, freedom, what an honour to finally meet you!

Five’s grin dropped when he heard something crack. Excruciating pain in his knee followed afterwards. Goddamn it, was his arthritis back? He thought he left that shit with his old body; now all the upsides of being stuck in his teenage body were irrelevant. Or maybe he just didn’t know how to skip properly.

Five’s eyes twitched as he hobbled the rest of the way to the bar.

**[12:45 PM]**

Five found the humble establishment at the corner of the street next to a ramen noodle shop. The place was bare, with the exception of a few quiet guests.

He hopped onto a stool, it wiggled unsteadily and for a second he was worried it would collapse. The bar had definitely seen better days; the seat cushions were most likely red once upon a time but had faded into an unattractive pink, dust-covered the black and white pictures hanging on the walls, there were countless scratches on the plank floors courtesy of Diego, probably. It was no bother; they served alcohol and that was what really counted.

Five called for the bartender hiding in the back room. No one answered. He let out a tired sigh and waited. Minutes later, his fingers began tapping against the counter to the music playing through the jukebox. When the beat picked up, his head began to bop. The chorus hit and he lightly swayed side to side. The bartender, a young man with an out-of-style mohawk, came out before Five could start singing along. Thank God.

“Ah, there you are,” said Five, folding his hands together, “If you’re on the clock, I'd like to order about six martinis—“

“I’m sorry,” interrupted the bartender, eyebrows furrowed at Five’s presence, “why are you in here?”

“Oh, well, It was my brother who recommended this place,” answered Five politely, “he’s a regular here— which reminds me, what kind of pizza do you serve here?” He looked down at the paper menu in front of him. “I’ve been craving a slice for ages.”

“I can’t serve you, kid. You’re too young.”

“No, I’m—“ Five rolled his eyes and dug into his pockets. Out came his I.D. that was issued to him when he started working at the commission. It provided the bartender with Five’s date of birth and a much older photo of him. His unwelcoming scowl was probably his most noticeable feature. “Look,” Five demanded, slapping the card against the counter, “does he seem young to you?”

The bartender leaned in for a better look. “Uh, no,” he admitted, “in fact, whoever you stole this from is doing very badly for a thirty-year-old”

“I’m not thirty, I’m fifty-eight—“

“Wait a minute,” he blurted, eyes lighting up, “ain’t that neat, this fellow was born on the same day as those Sparrow Academy kids!”

Five exhaled sharply out of his nose. He was getting impatient and was contemplating more drastic measures.

There were a couple of options he could try out but two got the job done easier: (1) He could threaten the bartender’s life with a vivid description of the decapitation of his head, or (2) he could teleport behind the bartender and put him in a chokehold until he agreed to serve him. Five snapped himself out of his violent train of thought. What was he thinking? Knocking the bartender out completely was the obvious route to go. That way, he could get free alcohol and be unbothered by his pestering questions.

The glowing blue hue of Five’s powers quickly faded when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Behind him stood a concerned woman with a friendly smile. “Are you lost?” She wondered, then offered to call his parents for him.

The lady sounded kind, but her appearance told him otherwise. She had strict eyes and dark hair that was pulled back into a tight ponytail. Around her neck hung a golden detectives badge, flashing every bystander that dared to stare. It was then, Five scanned the establishment with a bit more diligence. Whether it was clipped on their hip, or attached to their chest, all the visitors wore the same shiny badge.

“Son of a bitch sent me to a cop bar,” hissed Five under his breath.

The detective cocked her head. “What was that?”

“Nothing, I’ll be on my way.” He snatched his I.D. and hopped off the stool. The detective kept by his side as he approached the exit, insisting she walked him out. He rolled his eyes. The confidence in her stride reminded her too much of Diego’s stubbornness.

They stood in front of the bar where she scolded the doorman and asked for the number of Five’s parents. She dialled it at a nearby phone booth, but no one answered. After six tries, she left a message and hung up. “No one’s picking up,” she informed Five.

Five nodded, unsurprised. “I’m an orphan, so that checks out.”

“You’re an orphan,” she repeated slowly.

“Yes, and the orphanage must be worried sick about me, so I should probably head back.” He briskly walked away but his path was immediately blocked by what looked like a giant flightless crow, falling down the steps of the ramen noodle shop. The crow spilled about half of their bowl onto the sidewalk and the other half on Five.

The crow made eye contact with Five. They both grimaced at each other.

Five’s siblings must have stuck a tracker on him or something because there was absolutely no way they were finding him this easily with their nonexistent coordination skills. The only thing Five was thankful for at this moment was the fact that Klaus was back to being fully clothed in his all-black doomsday attire.

“What dumb luck I have,” sighed Klaus nonchalantly. He picked up a soggy dumpling off Five’s shoulder with his chopsticks, then raised an eyebrow once noticing the detective standing next to him. “Have we met?” wondered Klaus.

After a moment of raking her brain, the detective shook her head. Klaus shrugged it off and plopped the dumpling into his mouth. “Anyway, Five, If you’re not busy I’m going to need you to come with me,” he requested while chewing, “I made a bet with Luther on who was gonna find you first, and now he owes me a shit ton of Rice Krispies.”

“I don't know who this man is,” Five informed the detective without hesitation, “He’s been following me since this morning.”

That did the trick; she immediately turned on interrogation mode, and Klaus fumbled with every question she asked. Something was definitely on Klaus’ mind; he seemed more distracted than usual— like he was trying to remember if he turned off his kitchen stove before leaving the 60s.

Because the universe refused to give Five a break, he noticed another one of his dim-witted siblings trying to hide behind a skinny lamppost. Luther wore wide doe eyes once realizing he’d been caught, and Five wondered why the hell he was so surprised. The lamppost was basically a thread of string compared to Luther’s giant mass, and, for the love of God, there was a mailbox right next to him that he could’ve hidden behind. It was safe to assume all his brothers were just walking around without a brain. Truly, it was a miracle they survived not one, but two apocalypses.

“That man has been following me as well,” tattled Five, pointing at Luther.

The detective whipped her head up, and Five made a run for it. His brothers yelled his name but he dared not look behind.

There was a pained look in Five’s eyes as he weaved through the crowded sidewalk. The twinge in his knee ached, but stopping was not an option; It was never an option. No longer was he grinning at the childhood memory of ice cream on a hot summer day. Instead, it was the childhood memory of running through a similar path when he got lost in time.

He never wanted to run away from his family, he was just a curious kid running towards a new discovery. Time was a fickle concept so ordinary to the simple mind, yet it held power only Five could explore— or at least he thought so as a child. His siblings would call him reckless for disappearing all those years ago but, if they had his ability, wouldn’t they run?

Five often wondered what happened in the timeline where he didn’t run away. Maybe he grew up to resent his siblings. Maybe he ended up like Ben, six feet beneath the ground.

But this was the timeline he was in now. He was alive and was doing what his childhood self knew best; he ran.

**[12:59 PM]**

Five nearly lost his footing as he warped inside a random building. He blinked rapidly; his eyes were adjusting to the dimmer lighting. Around him were neon machines, blaring intense techno music that made his eardrums want to ooze blood. That, and the sound of children screaming in the giant ball pit built in the middle of the room. No wonder Reggie didn’t like kids.

Five crouched behind a claw machine by the entrance. From outside, he heard Klaus’ crazed giggling and Luther pleading for the detective to stop chasing them. Their voices faded as they ran past the arcade. Finally, after a minute, the coast was clear.

Five stood back up. He noticed a plush toy pizza hidden inside the claw machine and his stomach began to growl. Was finding food in 2019 as rare as it was in the apocalypse? At least in the apocalypse, he had a box of Twinkies to last him a month.

He glanced around cautiously, then dug into Luther’s wallet for fifty cents to put into the machine. ‘ _Game time!_ ’ screeched the machine in the most obnoxious tone possible. What was more annoying was the monstrous fart sound effect that came after he lost. Five bit the side of his cheek and tried again.

On his third try, he managed to get the pizza hanging from the claw for 0.3 milliseconds.

On his seventh try, he smacked the side of the machine and grumbled angrily to himself.

After his tenth try, an employee found Five aggressively shaking the machine while swearing as loud as the children were screaming in the ball pit. The employee tried their best to pry the boy off, but the kid was latched on like a magnet to metal.

Another set of hands grabbed and pulled at his shoulders. They succeeded and he landed on the carpeted floor. As fast as he fell, he was quickly pulled back up on his feet from behind. Confusion set in when he turned and he was suddenly face-to-face with Vanya. (The tracker thing was a joke but now Five’s really beginning to fear his theory was correct.)

Vanya apologized to the employee for her _little_ brother’s behaviour, and the employee reluctantly allowed them to stay.

“This is your idea of a day off?” Vanya questioned Five once they were left alone.

He shrugged. “It’s the only one I’ve had, I’m testing out the waters. How’d you find me?”

“Diego said you’d be around the city.”

“Of course he did.” Five rolled his eyes. He couldn’t trust anyone these days.

“We found him bleeding on the side of the street,” Vanya mentioned.

“Yes, that is where I left him.” His confession made Vanya’s eyes widened with worry. Five promptly changed the topic; “Honestly, Vanya, I did not anticipate you taking part in this impromptu game of hide-and-seek that we’ve apparently got going on. I thought you’d be one of the good ones.”

She scoffed, “I mean, can you blame me? I watched you run away once before and return a decade later. Who says that can’t happen again?”

“You need to give me a bit more credit. I was a naive child back then; I’ve obviously grown and learned my lesson.”

“Okay, well, you still freaked us out, Five. It wouldn’t kill you to warn us the next time you run off.”

Five begged to differ but he held himself back from admitting that out loud, at least not to Vanya. She was giving him a troubled look that would make anyone feel guilty. Surely, if it were any of his other siblings, he’d have no problem smacking them upside the head then tell them to get over it. He’d then teleport halfway across the country and send them a postal card with the words ‘ _fuck you_ ’ written in the smallest font possible so they really had to get up close just to read it. Five imagined himself snorting at their confused reactions. Vanya was a different story.

“Sorry,” he muttered after a minute had passed. “You’re right, I should have said something.”

Vanya accepted his apology but Five had more to say, “I won’t be surrendering myself, though. There are things I still want to do today that haven’t been checked off my list.”

“Oh.” She awkwardly glanced off to the side then back at him. “I was actually going to ask if I could join you.”

“Join me?”

“Yeah, on your day off.”

Five narrowed his eyes at her. “This isn't your way of luring me into a false sense of security, is it?”

She chuckled, looked at him thoughtfully for a moment and turned her body towards the claw machine. _Game time_!

The claw moved across the glass box and stopped as it hovered above the plush pizza. It slowly reached down and snatched the toy right up. Instead of the fart noise that Five was so familiar with, buoyant kazoos blasted through the speakers. ‘ _Remarkable_!’ the machine exclaimed. Vanya spun back around, presenting the toy in her hands.

“You’re not the only one who needs a day off,” she said, giving the toy over to Five.

He looked down at his sister’s gift and couldn’t stop his proud smirk from emerging. “Gee, Vanya, didn’t know you were such a show-off,” joked Five, lightheartedly

“Honestly, I got pretty lucky,” Vanya easily admitted with a giddy smile, “I think this is the first time I won one of these things!”

Vanya may have been ordinary as a child, but she possessed a superpower none of the Hargreeves could replicate; unadulterated kindness. She was the little spark of light in a household so dim with terror and dismay. It was never really appreciated, nor did anyone offer the same comfort back then. Five could not even remember a time she smiled during their childhood.

He looked at her now. She was smiling warmly back at him. Even being the cause of two apocalypses, Vanya still managed to be less annoying than their other siblings— but that was just Five’s unbiased opinion.

“I suppose having someone to spend time with could be fun,” said Five after thinking for a moment, “Let’s try our luck on some other games. What do you suggest we play?”

She contemplated for a second, then settled on PacMan. Five agreed without a problem and the brother-sister duo made their way towards the arcade machine.

He wondered if they could get ice cream later.

**[1:08 PM]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We love a cameo :)
> 
> tumblr: benny-phantom


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm wonder if Five will get his pizza this chapter.

**[2:12 PM]**

Back when Five worked at the Commission his coworkers would always compliment him on his keen-eye. He spotted his targets from miles away like an eagle flying circles around their next meal. Without much of a warning, he’d swoop down and claw their eyes out then deepen his nails into their skull until their veins popped out.

The compliments were flattering, sure, but Five never understood why everyone was so impressed. They were all hired assassins, it was kind of a prerequisite to be observant. Then again, the Commission hired Diego; a man so lacking in subtlety, he announced himself five minutes before striking an actual attack on his teleporting brother. Hazel and Cha Cha weren’t the brightest bulbs, either. Other than their knowledge of Five’s extensive career, they didn’t bother to do further research on him before hunting him down. They didn’t even know about the Umbrella Academy and his ride-or-die siblings who were ready to throw hands at anyone who looked at them funny. That’s what ultimately caused Hazel and Cha Cha’s downfall; their habit of skimming the finer details.

It was safe to say Five was one of the better hires to grace the Commission. His coworkers would probably laugh their asses off if they could see how he was spending his retirement:

Steam was coming out his ears as he repeatedly kicked the whack-a-mole machine he just lost to.

“This is bullshit!” He raged, and his voice carried throughout the arcade. “How the hell did I only get three tickets?! I hit every one of those furry bastards! You saw that, right?!”

Vanya shrunk her head into her shoulders as Five sharply glared at her. In her arms, she cradled the pile of tickets they’ve won like it was a newborn baby.

“Honestly, I saw you miss a few,” she admitted, offering him a pitied smile, “but you did great for your fifth try!”

His unimpressive score of 40 out of 300 told him otherwise.

This was an embarrassment. Five has been in combat with mobs of crazed gunmen and single-handedly wiped them all out in mere seconds. He once shot a man from the rooftop of a thirty-story building and got the bullet directly into the man’s ear and out the other. He’s been tied upside down above a pool of acid and escaped with the bones of those who dared test him. Five was a goddamn gazelle. To be defeated by a plastic gopher was simply unacceptable.

He tensed up when he felt Vanya offer an awkward pat on his shoulder. “It’s ok, Five, it’s—“ She paused and blinked, searching for the right words, “It’s not that deep.”

Five looked at her confused but then realized he must’ve been ranting out loud again. He cleared his throat then tossed the whack-a-mole hammer back in its place. “Remind me to talk to the manager about this later,” he requested, avoiding eye contact, “this game is rigged,”

“You said that about the last ten games we played.”

“It’s constructive criticism, they should be thankful to receive it. Let’s just go win another game.”

Aimlessly, the siblings walked around the arcade and scanned their eyes left to right for their next game. Vanya’s eyes landed on the two dance machines shining brightly in the corner. “Are you much of a dancer?” she wondered.

Five hoped his crumpled face was enough to communicate that he’d rather chew on broken glass. It did and she chuckled.

“Then I think we pretty much took care of the entire arcade,” said Vanya, “which is pretty impressive, considering we've only been here for, like, an hour. You sure you don't want to slow down a bit?" 

"I told you, I only have until 12 AM. I want to do the most with the time I have." 

"What's next to cross off on your checklist then?”

Five’s mouth slanted. “I... don’t actually have a checklist," he admitted. "I’ve kind of just been improvising the whole day.”

Vanya nodded, unsurprised. “I figured.”

Five allowed for a pause and then asked, “Before the whole apocalypse thing happened what did you do on your days off? Maybe you could spark some inspiration for our next move.”

“I don’t know about that,” she chuckled nervously, “I was never one for spontaneity— well, back then, at least— so I’m kind of as lost as you right now.”

“Okay, I’ll ask another question; what would your ideal day off be like?”

Vanya pursed her lips to the side and thought hard about it.

“You don’t have to impress me, I’m just curious,” Five added.

It still took her a minute to answer. She started hesitantly: “There’s this spring fair that’s opened through spring and summer every year. I usually see it when I pass by during my bus rides to my orchestra practices.”

“But you’ve never gone?”

She shook her head. “I figured it would be weird for me to go alone, and I doubt I’d do much there anyway... But I think Sissy and Harlen would like it. I can just imagine Harlen riding the carousel with the widest grin on his face. Maybe we could even ride the Ferris Wheel? It’ll probably take some convincing from Sissy, but once we see the view of the city from up there, I think it’ll be worth it...”

Vanya was lost in her own daydream. She looked so at peace, Five wasn’t sure if he wanted to take her out of it. She eventually blinked out of her daze, and a rosy hue took over her pale cheeks.

“Sounds like it’d be a lovely day off, Vanya,” said Five kindly, and she gave him a soft smile. It didn’t hide the fact that she probably wished to have stayed in her head a while longer.

“And, um, how about you?” asked Vanya, “What would your ideal day off be like?”

Five’s mind went blank. He told Vanya he was still unsure, though he did admit to craving pizza. Their next destination, they decided, would be a food truck park nearby.

The siblings went to the main counter of the arcade and watched in childlike amazement as the ticket eater munched on their tickets. Their total came out at three-hundred-and-fifty-six, which won them a pack of gummy worms that were hard to chew and tasted like playdough. Vanya and Five spat it out after reading the package, stating it was made in 1971.

They left the arcade through the back door and were led into an alleyway. Vanya walked towards the streets to wave for a cab, while Five stayed between the walls to tie his shoe. Something was rattling in the dumpster he was situated by. He scooted away, expecting a feral raccoon would jump out. He scooted even further when it began speaking muffled yet distinguishable human words.

Five liked animals but he has had some tough encounters with them in the apocalypse. He tried to tame a wild dog once, but it immediately bit his hand then hauled ass with his food never to be seen again. He couldn’t help but respect its hustle

Whatever was in the dumpster was definitely not an animal, so he had no problem looking around for a weapon. He came across a shard of glass from a broken mirror and held it carefully as he slowly approached the dumpster. What really set the mood was the distant sound of an ice cream truck passing by. It played a very familiar jingle that Five associated with his younger years. It was never a tune he liked despite it being a ringtone for desert. Frankly, he found it quite creepy.

Five paused a foot away from the dumpster as it rattled again. He stepped back, fearing it would tip over.

The dumpster abruptly stopped its wild movement, and at the same time, the ice cream truck jingle came to an end: _Pop! Goes the Weasel!_

Like a jack-in-the-box, the lid of the dumpster flew open. Out popped Klaus with his arms stretching towards the sky. He let out a mighty roar (which was actually just a loud yawn after a good nap). He twisted his body like he was a soggy sponge trying to squeeze the water out, and the sound of his cracking back made Five winced with discomfort (and just the smallest ounce of concern).

They grimaced at each other when they made eye contact.

“Ew, you again,” Klaus sneered, leaning against the ledge.

Five lowered his weapon. “You say that like you haven’t been chasing me around the whole day.”

“That’s because I _haven’t_ been chasing you around the whole day,” Klaus bit back, “I’ve just been living my best post-apocalyptic life and you just happen to stroll by. If anything, you’re the one following me.”

Five could see some truth in what Klaus was saying; Klaus was the first at the pool, then at the ramen shop, and now at some random dumpster, for some reason. He didn’t care to admit it out loud, though.

“Where’s Luther?” asked Five not concerned, just cautious. Klaus shrugged.

“Last I saw he tripped over a pile of garbage bags because you sent the feds after us. I’ve been hiding in here ever since. Thanks for that, by the way. Really took care of my cardio for the day.”

Five smirked. _Finally,_ some good news! Luther was probably busy getting arrested and finally Five could rest easy knowing only one out of his six siblings was chasing him down. Though, Allison was one of the smarter of the bunch. It’d be safer not to celebrate too loud.

“What have you been running around for, anyway? Are you, like, looking for your mannequin wife or something?” wondered Klaus.

“No, I’ve moved on from her.” Five was mellow from the memories of his sweetheart, Delores. “I’ve just been taking a day off today.”

Klaus raised an eyebrow, amused. “A day off, hm? Do you even know how to take a day off?

“It’s been a process.”

“You’re not even dressed properly for it.”

Five looked down at his uniform. “I don’t see what my clothes have to do with my ability to take a day off.”

“I’m stressed just looking at you. Do you not get flashbacks of dad yelling at you to pull your socks up?”

Five still wasn’t swayed, but now he stood way too self-conscious of appearance.

“Not to brag,” said Klaus after Five kept quiet for too long, “but my parole officer once told me that my fashion sense could be a topic in Vogue magazine. So if you need help going through this self-journey of yours, I’m pretty available.“

Five thinned his lips and shook his head. “No thanks. Vanya’s already been helping me out.”

They both glanced over to Vanya who was still waving for a taxi.

“ _Huh_ ,” Klaus hummed, thoughtfully.

“What?” asked Five.

“Nothing,” he replied, “It’s just an interesting choice, casting the most tense person after yourself as a guide to help you relax.”

“I’d argue it’s Diego,” said Five.

Klaus shrugged, but then nodded in agreement. It was definitely Diego.

The mention of their brother suddenly made Klaus go quiet. He was looking past Five in deep thought and, for once, Five wondered what was going on in that weird brain of his— if anything was going on at all. Under Klaus’ ridiculous attire was probably a profound character with too many dark thoughts scattered in his mind. Or maybe Klaus just took some mystery drugs and they were finally settling in.

Five was about to walk away but stopped when Klaus suddenly let out a gloomy sigh.

He casually took out his flask from his breast pocket, “Y’know, I couldn’t quite rack my brain as to where I’ve seen that lady detective before, but then I remembered; she was the woman who came to my rescue when I was held hostage by Cha Cha and Hazel all those years ago. I never got to properly thank her.”

It took Five a moment to realize who Klaus was talking about. Five furrowed his eyebrows, remembering the brief encounter he had with the detective earlier. “You knew her?”

Klaus nodded then chugged. Five frowned at his brooding brother.

“Well, that timeline is irrelevant to us now,” said Five, “and so is the one we’re in right now. I do plan on getting things back to how things used to be, after today.”

Klaus did not look relieved. He started fidgeting with the dog tags hanging around his neck when he asked: “Are you sure you don’t want to take like, two days off? Or maybe a week? Hell, you could even retire. I know you’ve been through a lot, you deserve it.”

“I obviously can’t do that yet, Klaus,” said Five, shaking his head. “There’s still a job to be done. Things aren’t right here.”

“I mean, if you really think about it, were things _ever_ right?”

“You know what I mean. The Umbrella Academy seizes to exist. We were never adopted.”

“But Ben was,” Klaus mentioned. “And he’s got brand spanking new siblings who were able to keep him alive passed the prime age of seventeen.”

Five squinted at him. He never got the full story of what happened to Ben, and he couldn’t help but wonder; “Klaus, you don’t think it’s your fault Ben died, do you?”

Klaus thought about it for a moment. “I’d say It was a group effort— or lack thereof,” he answered honestly, “Ben never thought so, though. I guess that’s one of the perks of being able to see the dead; you get to know how they really feel.”

“...But did you ever believe him?”

“Of course, not,” he chuckled grimly, “I mean, I used to. But It’s kind of hard at this point. Especially seeing him alive now without us, living his emo-school-boy-fantasy… I don’t know, It just makes me feel bad. I can’t help but wonder if going back to how things were is all that worth it.”

Five looked insulted. “Of course, it’s worth it.”

Klaus looked equally as insulted. “Oh c’mon, Five. Just take a good look around you!” He spread his arms out and gestured sloppily at the empty air around. “The world is in one piece, Ben’s alive, so is that detective. Seriously, what exactly is there to fix here? What if it’s just us who’s broken?”

At first, It felt like Klaus was challenging Five to give him an answer to an equation that was impossible to solve. But the deeper Five looked into his wide and urgent eyes, he realized Klaus was waiting for reassurance. He was waiting to be told that everything was going to be ok; that things were confusing right but he will be fine.

“Get sober, Klaus,” Five advised instead, “You're talking out of your ass.”

Five turned and marched towards Vanya without sparing his brother a glance. Allison may be the celebrity of the family, but Klaus will forever be the drama queen.

It was quiet as Five walked away. _Huh_. That didn’t seem right. By now, he expected frantic pleas from Klaus, and maybe a few flying objects being thrown his way. But there was nothing, and the silence only made Five more uneasy. He dared to look over his shoulder but was only met with a lone dumpster. When he walked back and looked inside, there Klaus was, sitting cross-legged and rubbing his eyes with his palms. Klaus’ chest stuttered with every breath he tried to take.

Well, _shit_. This was awkward. For a while, Five kicked his foot back and forth against the pavement, unknowing of how to act. He broke his silence with a sigh.

“Listen,” said Five. The dumpster illuminated a blue hue as he teleported inside. He sat crossed legged in front of his brother. “I—“ the stench of rotten fish hit him with a ton of bricks and it made his eyes tear up. “Holy fucking shit—“ he coughed and covered his nose with his vest. It didn’t do much.

Five gathered his composure as best he could and started over, “Ok, listen, I know a thing or two about murder. I’ve killed a lot of people. Like, a staggering amount. All with the clear intention of having them dead.”

“Uhh…” Klaus was looking rather off-put and confused by Five’s confession.

Five went on anyway, “So unless you guys purposely pushed Ben in front of a literal moving train or something, his death shouldn’t be pinned on the Umbrella Academy. It wasn’t something you guys planned. Sometimes the unpredictable happens, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. I get it, it’s jarring to see him alive today, but If Ben has personally told you that it wasn’t your fault, then believe him, it wasn’t your fault. You understand what I’m saying, right?”

Five didn’t receive an immediate answer. After a beat passed, Klaus let his eyes meet Five’s. “You weren’t there.” His tone was completely flat, just entirely deprived of any sort of life.

“I know I wasn’t. And I’m sorry for that,” was all Five could offer.

Klaus blinked at him, then glanced back down. Another beat passed. “I don’t think Ben has much fun at the Sparrow Academy, anyway,” sighed Klaus, “He looks like he’d spike my Capri Sun with laxatives as a prank.”

“He probably would,” supported Five.

They were quiet for a while; stuck in their own heads.

“I miss him,” Klaus said suddenly.

“I miss him, too,” said Five.

Five and Klaus eventually got out of the dumpster feeling more dejected than they did when the day first began. The hideous trash stench was stuck onto them, and Vanya had to plug her nose when they presented themselves. With their appetite ruined, It was decided they get new clothing before getting a slice of pizza. They left in a taxi and Klaus tagged along without any objections from his siblings.

**[2:56 PM]  
**

They were dropped off at a curb, and Five and Klaus stared blankly at a bookstore window display. You’d think they were kids dreaming of being able to afford the hottest new comic everyone has been raving about. In reality, a bitter taste met their tongues. It seemed the Sparrow Academy just came out with the 8th volume of their comic. The Umbrella Academy only got to release three.

Vanya came out of the drug store beside it and shook a bottle of axe body spray she just bought. She sprayed her brother’s with it before making their way into a thrift store. It only helped a little.

They scattered off to different areas of the thirft store; Vanya and Klaus knowing exactly where to look while Five roamed through a random aisle.

They say that a person’s wardrobe says a lot about who they are. Take Vanya, for example: albeit still a bit lost, she gravitated towards a grey and white flannel, and an ill-fitted quarter zipped sweater to go along with it. She rolled up the sleeves despite there being a smaller and similar sweater hanging beside it. On the other side of the store, Klaus found bolder choices. He tried on a pitch-black tank top with a long-sleeve fishnet under it. He paired it with ripped skinny jeans that looked hard to walk in. Vanya and Klaus’ choices were nothing out of the ordinary from what Five was used to seeing, yet he couldn’t help but stare. They had their unique styles; not a uniform they were forced to wear.

Five looked down at his navy blue and red attire and noticed there were still a few blood stains he missed when scrubbing it in the sink. He never had the chance to take off his uniform, nor did he ever think to do so. Now that the opportunity presented itself, he stood frozen. Fashion was never his strong suit, saving the world was. But who was he after saving the world?

Everything that fit him included either a cartoon character or a sassy catchphrase in a bold white font that just screamed for attention. None appealed to him. He was bored seated on a wooden stool, waiting for his siblings to finish. They suddenly came up to him after a few minutes and presented different articles of clothing for him to try.

In the change room, Five looked at himself in the mirror wearing his new uniform. He cringed. It was nothing he would ever choose, even if there was a shotgun pointed to the temple of his head. The red and white Hawaiian button-up shirt? The straw fedora? The breezy cargo shorts? The Jesus sandals and socks? They pretty much dressed him up as a tourist.

He pulled the curtains open, scowling at his wide-eyed siblings.

Vanya forced a toothy smile. “I think you look great—“

“I look like an idiot,” Five hissed back.

Klaus threw his hands up and shrugged. “Okay well, this is how normal people on vacation dress. You either go big or go home.”

Five hated that Klaus had a fair point; who knows when his next day off will be?

He put on his golden sunglasses and it somehow made the outfit worse, yet completed it at the same time. In the corner of his eyes, he could see his siblings; teeth chewing their lips as they eagerly awaited his verdict. _Christ_ , he was dealing with absolute children. Apparently, life after saving the world meant playing dress-up with his little siblings. Was that who he was; a push-over big brother? A third apocalypse suddenly didn’t so bad.

They were still staring at Five with gaping Disney princess eyes. It was as if they thought he’d submit to their inaudible demands the longer they looked.

Whatever, this might as well happen.

Five took out his twenty-dollar bill. “Let’s go big.”

With shocked gasps, Klaus and Vanya went up to the cashier and paid for Five’s new wardrobe themselves.

**[3:24 PM]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops he didn’t get his pizza this chapter.
> 
> So school is going to kick my ass in the following week which means updates will probably slow down. I’ll try not to make y’all wait too long! 
> 
> plz help me lay my summer vacation to rest on tumblr: benny-phantom


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This the longest chapter yet, pls pardon any mistakes!! 
> 
> Also here’s a quick definition just in case— 
> 
> scramble intersection: allows people to cross an intersection in every direction, including diagonally, at the same time.

**[3:39 PM]**

On the sidewalk, there was a crowd surrounding a street performer drumming on buckets and pans. Klaus clapped offbeat to the rhythm while Vanya stayed on her tippy toes to get a better view of the performance. Five, on the other hand, was finding it difficult to be entertained. The musical talent had nothing to do with his jittery nature, the use of appliances actually impressed him, especially having endured 10-year-old Klaus’ kitchen concerts; his only instrument being two frying pans that he banged together. Five was just cautious of the staring eyes on him. The crowd he was a part of was a bit too packed for his liking, and there wasn’t an easy escape route in case things went south.

He tugged on his shirt uncomfortably. It felt like it was choking him despite the top button being undone. It was also much lighter than his uniform; he suspected a light breeze would be enough to blow him away.

Five glanced over to Klaus, noticing he was still trying to find the beat but was failing miserably. Hanging around his arm was a paper shopping bag that they kept their old clothes in. Five reached for it but Klaus flinched and pulled the bag away. The brothers squinted at each other.

“What are you? A raccoon?” sneered Klaus.

“ _You_ just came out of a dumpster,” Five retorted.

“You did too!” Klaus volleyed back.

“Guys,” Vanya interrupted, albeit not focused on their conversation. “Is it just one person performing? Or is it, like, a whole band?”

“It’s one really swole dude in a hotdog costume,” answered Klaus, emphasizing ‘swole’ in a gruff voice. Vanya resorted to doing bunny hops to get a better look at the performer.

Five tried to grab the bag again. Klaus swatted his hand away this time.

“Give it to me,” Five demanded through gritted teeth. “This outfit makes me stick out like a sore thumb. Everyone’s staring.”

Klaus scoffed. “Relax, mon frère, you’re not that interesting.”

“Klaus--”

“You’re being paranoid,” Klaus cut him off. “No one’s looking at you.”

“I’m not being paranoid, I’m being cautious. Allison is still somewhere out there looking for me.”

“Ok, and? Sorry to break it to you, but Allison’s not one of those psychopathic commission goons you’re so used to. You can take it easy now.”

Five frowned at him. “I _am_ taking it easy.”

“And I’m straight.” Klaus deadpanned.

They looked at each other blankly like they were in the middle of a staring contest. When Klaus blinked, Five grabbed the bag and Klaus started screaming until he let go.

“JESUS CHRIST!” Klaus blurted, hugging the bag tightly against his chest. “Just take a chill pill! Go with the flow! Dance with me why don’t you?” He started wiggling his shoulders and eyebrows to the beat. “Give me a lil’ shimmy. A lil’ twirl.”

“Yikes,” Five cringed. He was ready to leave.

Five turned to Vanya and was startled by how pink her face had gotten. All the hopping and tippy-toeing she’d been doing threatened sweat at the edge of her hairline. Her double-layered clothing probably didn’t help, and it almost made Five feel better about his own attire.

“Yeah, okay,” she said once Five asked if they could leave. She sounded out of breath and defeated. “The place is around the corner.”

The aroma of fried food led them to a food truck park. There were several trucks to choose from but Vanya suggested her typical spot. They lined up and squinted at the menu that was bolted on the side of the truck. Vanya and Klaus made their decisions quickly while Five kept staring. They were nearing the cashier when Vanya asked if he needed help choosing.

“No, I think I’ll just get a pineapple pizza,” he told her.

Klaus shot Five a disgusted look before glancing over to Vanya to see if she had the same reaction. She shrugged innocently.

“Are you sure you don’t want, like, pepperoni or something?” asked Klaus.

Five shook his head. “I’m good. Why do you look constipated?”

“Because you’re ordering pineapple on pizza.”

“Okay?”

“Let me repeat that: you’re ordering _pineapple_ on _pizza_ ,” Klaus pronounced his words slowly. “Why would you willingly do that to yourself?”

“Because it looks good?”

“Oh, okay. Give me one second.” He held his finger up as he bent down and started gagging like a feral cat with a hairball stuck in its throat.

Five turned to Vanya for an explanation.

“Yeah, I don’t know,” she said, looking just as puzzled as he was. “I was actually going to get a pineapple pizza as well—“

Klaus’ gagging became louder and more aggressive somehow.

“Don’t worry about him,” Vanya told Five with a wink, “you’re making the right choice.”

“Vanya, no!” Klaus whined, finally putting a stop to his dramatics. “He’s been tortured enough!”

Vanya smirked at him, amused. “Pineapple on pizza is actually really good. You should try it.”

“I have tried it and it was a very, very dark time for me,” said Klaus.

“Maybe you just ordered it at a bad place? Seriously, I used to come here every two weeks for a slice of pineapple pizza. It’s that good.”

“Horrifying. I share my deepest condolences.” He squeezed her shoulder sympathetically before turning back to Five. His expression dropped into something much more panicked as he leaned down and whispered harshly, “I know you think I’m joking but If you get pineapple on pizza I will literally projectile vomit a pool of blood. I promise you, you’re better off just getting pepperoni.”

“Or,” Vanya cut in because Klaus wasn’t good at whispering, “you should order whatever you want regardless of the toppings.” She then muttered through the side of her mouth like an amateur ventriloquist, “but I do suggest pineapple.”

With how insulted Klaus looked it could be assumed Pineapple had broken into his house and bullied him into giving up his lunch money. It couldn’t be that bad, could it? Five has had cockroaches for breakfast for most of his life, so maybe he wasn’t the best culinary judge.

They continued to argue about pizza, and Five went up to the cashier without them noticing. He ordered both pepperoni and pineapple pizzas for himself.

He roamed the park alone, waiting for his food. There was a television mounted above a churro food truck, and it was playing the news. The Sparrow Academy was the main story; they recently embarked on another mission, three bank robberies in a single day. Within seconds of the contact, the perpetrators were knocked out and apprehended. Ben, their number one, was the star player. His portrait was displayed on the screen, and he wore an uncharacteristically punchable smirk on his face.

An awful weight settled like acid in the pit of Five’s stomach. Ben was alive and it wasn’t comforting at all. Nothing about this timeline was comforting.

He was fidgeting again. The rusty gears in his brain were turning a mile a millisecond. Yes, he was taking a day off but if he were to conduct a game plan as soon as possible, wouldn’t that result in more days off? Isn’t that what he wanted? More breaks? More chances to relax? _Goddamnit_ , why hadn’t he thought of that before?! How could he be so blind?! He could have gotten so much accomplished if he hadn’t been slacking off— maybe the timeline would have been fixed by now! _Shit!_ Would it be too risky to just go back and restart the whole day? Yes, that’s what he’ll do, he’ll just turn the hourglass upside down! That was the key, that was the way to go!

Five flinched at the abrupt sound of a barking dog It was then he felt something wet grazing the side of his leg.

He slowly looked down. A brown and tiny dog stuck its tongue out at him.

It stared up at him dumbly and huffed in and out. Five did nothing but stare back. When the dog got bored, it waddled closer to his leg and continued licking him on the same spot.

He just let it happen and waited for someone to pick it up. When no one came to his rescue, Five crouched down, reached for the dog’s head, and nearly gasped by how soft it was. It’s nose _booped_ his hand a few times before turning on to it’s back and inviting him to rub its little belly.

“Holy shit,” Five deadpanned, “you are one cute dog.”

As he scratched, his heart stammered with what can only be described as an overwhelming love for a best friend he’d just met. He searched for a collar or a tag but it was completely naked. Was he about to steal a dog? He was about to steal a dog.

A shadow hovered over Five. He looked up and feared he’d see Luther. Rather, It was an older gentleman with a thick moustache that reminded Five of an orange _Dr. Suess_ character. What wasn’t as bushy and full was his lack of hair on the top of his head. He chewed on a giant churro, and when he wasn’t chewing, he smoked his cigarette.

“Goddamnit, the little shit escaped the house again,” the elder groaned, blowing smoke off to the side.

Five looked down at said little shit and it wagged its tail happily. It jumped onto its feet and began pawing at the elder’s legs.

“Is he yours?” asked Five, hiding his disappointment and standing back up.

“Nah, my neighbours,” he answered, “you’d think with the mini-golf they have in their front yard, they’d be able to afford a leash or something.”

The dog was still pawing at the elder and the elder rolled his eyes. “I ain’t got nothin’ for you, stop ambushin’ me!”

“What’s his name?” asked Five.

“Uhh, Mister Penny...something? Penelope? Pennywise? No, wait shit!” He snapped his fingers. “Mr. Pennycrumb! Yeah, that’s it. Kinda a ridiculous name, huh?”

“Sure,” lied Five. He thought it was quite charming.

“Alright, grab the little shit, we gotta return him.”

“We?” Five watched in confusion as the elder walked past him, heading for the exit. Five picked up the dog and reluctantly caught up with the elder.

“Yeah, my hands are kinda full, kid,” the elder explained over his shoulder. He made a show of waving his cigarette in his right hand, and his churro in the other. “Can’t really drag the dog back home when I got other shit to carry!”

”I don’t even know who you are!” yelled Five

The elder turned around with his cigar in his mouth, he started walking backwards, and he put his free hand out in front of Five. “Name’s Lupo, nice to meet ya!”

Five ignored it. “I don’t care! You can't just take me to some secondary location!”

“Need your parent’s permission or somethin’?”

“My sibling’s permission, actually,” he muttered, “Just give me a second.”

The elder gave him a second, exactly a second, and after that second he persisted forward. Five was baffled to find a man with less patience than him.

“Well, we should probably come with you,” said Vanya after Five explained everything. He found his siblings sitting at the picnic table with their pizzas half-eaten. They saved his slices in a container. Vanya continued, “You might be used to it, but it’s not exactly normal to be recruited by sketchy strangers who like to smoke.”

“Fine, whatever.” He rolled his eyes. “Just hurry up, he’s a fast walker.”

Vanya and Klaus took their sweet time cleaning up the table while Five let out a frustrated sigh and ran off. There was a familiar rush of exhilaration coursing through his bloodstreams that was only triggered by the sound of a new mission being delivered to him by the commission. This feeling; he couldn't help how addicting it was.

He was just about to catch up with Lupo when a crowd engulfed the son-of-a-bitch as he crossed a scramble intersection. Five groaned under his breath before pushing through. His sandals only made it more difficult to move.

Someone walking the opposite direction bumped his shoulders and they made eye contact. Those eyes—his heart leapt into his throat—Those were Allison’s worried eyes. It was only for a few seconds, but he swore everything went in slow motion.

The wheels started turning again. He formulated a quick escape plan with the milliseconds he had. Blink and escape. Simple as that.

But Allison glanced away and time returned back to normal. She kept walking as if she’d just seen a stranger soon to be forgotten.

She looked distressed, alerted, yet blind to Five. The commission briefcase swung by her side as she made it to the other side of the street. She anxiously flipped her head left to right, debating which direction to go. She chose left, the opposite of where the food truck park was.

Pity hit Five and he hated the feeling. He looked down at Mr. Pennycrumb for comfort. The little fluff ball was drooling on his newly bought shirt. His sunglasses slid down the bridge of his nose, and he pushed it back up.

What Five did not get to see was Allison turning and glancing back at him. She was too late to recognize him out of his uniform; he had already turned a corner and ran away.

**[4:02 PM]**

The neighbourhood was quieter than the rest of the city. Five and Lupo knocked until the door swung open, revealing a boisterous elderly lady with a smile so ginormous, it looked like it hurt. “My sweet pea!” she exclaimed.

Mr. Pennycrumb slipped out of Five’s embrace and exchanged it for hers. If you listened closely, you’d hear his heart shatter into two pieces. Mission accomplished, he guessed. Maybe it would’ve been better to run back to Allison; reassure her that everything would be ok...

The lady thanked them graciously, but her eyes were attached to Five. “You never told me you had a grandson, Lupo!” she exclaimed.

“I don’t,” Lupo said. There was a pause. She waited for some sort of explanation. Lupo didn’t give her one.

“Well,” she said, breaking the silence. “You could’ve fooled me; you two look exactly like twins!”

Five and Lupo looked at each up and down, and It was then they noticed they wore similar Hawaiian shirts paired with baggy cargo shorts. Even their dim sunglasses were similar. They both grunted.

Lupo turned to leave but the lady called out to him and tried to invite him inside.

“My wife’s lookin’ for me,” was his excuse.

“Oh, your wife is in the backyard playing poker with the rest of the gang!” she informed him happily.

Lupo stopped in his tracks and reluctantly turned on his heels. “You in there, darlin’?!”

‘Darlin’ shouted ‘yes’ and Lupo cussed under his breath. He replaced his cigarette with a fresh one before stomping into the house, grumpily.

“How about you, sweetie?” said the boisterous lady, looking down at Five. “You wanna come in for a snack? I just baked some chocolate chip cookies with my lovely granddaughter. Oh, would you like to meet her? I bet she’d love to meet you. She’s about your age, you know? Tina, dear! Tina! Tina get over here—“

Five waved his hands in protest and put on a fake closed-mouth grin. “I should get going. I still have homework to do.”

“Aw but there’s no shame in taking a small break. You don’t want to stress too much, being so young and all.”

“I know that. It’s just--” He shook his head and he suddenly became aware of the tension in his shoulder. He let them ease down and he sighed meekly. “I cant. I’m not really the type to leave things to the last minute.”

Though the confession was vague, it was still rather embarrassing. What a truly silly struggle; to not know how to take a break. It wasn't comparable to Luther’s struggle to be his own individual, or Diego's struggle to live outside his hero complex, or Vanya’s struggle to say goodbye to the first person she truly loved, or Klaus’ struggle to cope with loss and loneliness, or Allison’s struggle as a mother with a child that ceases to exist. Everyone else’s problems were just so _adult_. And all Five needed to figure out was how to take a break. How truly childish of him.

His whole body froze when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He whipped around, finding Vanya and Klaus standing awkwardly behind him. They looked concerned. Five reddened. He must’ve been thinking out loud again.

“Five,” Vanya said, frowning, “you don’t actually think that, do you?”

“I--” Nothing came out, despite his best efforts of pushing out a bullshit explanation. The shared looks between Klaus and Vanya only made him feel more pathetic. “I just feel like I’m wasting time,” he admitted, despising how weak he sounded.

Vanya knitted her eyebrows together curiously. “Wasting time on what? Wasting time on yourself?” she wondered but Five didn’t answer. She gave him a soft smile before continuing. “Yeah, I get it. It’s… it’s difficult to believe your problems are worth caring about. And trust me, they _are_ worth caring about. It took me a while to realize that for myself as well. We may not know the full extent of each other’s struggles, but that doesn’t make them less valid. We kinda just have to help each other get better.”

Klaus gladly nodded in agreement. “Yeah, Five, we wanna help you. That is if you’d let us in, of course.”

 _Well, that’s fucking lame_ , Five wanted to say. Instead, he stared at them silently. The sour acid that once settled in his stomach was replaced by something warm and cozy. What the hell was this? It was gooey and made him heat up. Was he dying? No, that can’t be right. It made him feel lighter on his feet and somehow overwhelmed at the same time.

Klaus slowly approached Five with open arms and the warm feeling disappeared.

He slapped Klaus’ hands away, giving him the most needlessly aggressive high-five ever.

“Ow!” Klaus yelped and rubbed the red imprint. “What the hell, man?!”

“Don’t try shit like that,” Five warned.

“Shit like what?!” yelled Klaus.

Five gestured at all of Klaus, not really giving him a clear answer.

“I was going to give you a hug!” cried Klaus, offended. “Geez Louise! Learn how to turn off your brain once in a while! You’ve been on edge the whole day; take a goddamn breather!”

Five was confused. Had he not been doing that all along?

There it was again; the painful awareness of his tense shoulders. Then it was his aching knees, and his feet struggling to keep him up, and his stomach growling for both breakfast and lunch and soon to be dinner.

“Here.” Vanya handed him a container. Steam burst out as he opened it, and the fresh smell of pizza greeted his nose. “You look like you could eat.”

“And don’t forget my cookies!” They all jumped at the fact that they forgot the boisterous lady was still around. She invited them all inside to eat comfortably at her kitchen counter.

**[4:10 PM]**

The rich flavours hit Five’s taste buds, triggering what he could only describe as a cathodic experience of utter bliss and relief. The stringy cheese dragged on and on and on as he pulled away from his first bite, then detached elegantly like cotton candy tearing apart. He chewed slowly, taking in the textures of the soft dough and crispy pepperoni. Just as he thought he experienced it all, he was pleasantly surprised with a hidden pocket of sweet tomato, exploding in his mouth. Every ingredient was combined with such precision, such perfection. And he couldn't discredit the pineapple pizza either. The mix and sweet and savoury was such an unpredictable pair, yet they worked in beautiful harmony. How foolish was he to have been holding this off for so long?

The familiar sight returned; Vanya and Klaus anxiously awaited his verdict. “Pineapple is better,” he told them. It was a lie; he liked both equally, he just wanted to freak Klaus out and it worked.

Team Pineapple argued passionately just to see how far Klaus would take his dramatics (he started screaming into a bowl at one point), and by the end of it, fatigue started to hit Five.

Water fogged his eyes as he yawned. Voices began to fade while his blinking slowed down. Just for a minute, he allowed himself to close his eyes shut. When he opened them back up, he found himself draped across a floral couch with a blanket over him that smelled like baby powder. Mr. Pennycrumb licking his face substituted an alarm clock.

Five found Vanya and Klaus in the backyard. The sky was darker than he remembered. He was introduced to a table of greying senior citizens and It was awkward, despite their age similarities. The table conversed with him in a way an aunt or uncle caught up with their nephew after years of not seeing them; _how’s school? What's your favourite subject? Do you know what you wanna be when you grow up?_

When Five won the first Poker game, that was when the table's true colours began to show. Their kindness turned into smugness as they played their best strategies. They were playing for real now, no child’s lock attached. He won again.

They’d move on to another game; Lupo claimed poker was rigged. Out in the front yard, they bent over as far as their stiff backs could manage, and swung mini golf balls into holes. Five was never one for sports but Klaus and Vanya nudged him to play like they were his enthusiastic parents and Five was their embarrassed son. With each round, he took a swing and managed to get the golf ball closer and closer to the goal until he won second place. Some cheered, some booed. Everyone had their bets on who would win, including Klaus, and a majority were fifty dollars poorer. They grumbled and kicked at rocks. Five was supposed to be mad at himself as well, but he found their misfortunes rather entertaining.

He watched the winner, Lupo, give a giant kiss on his wife’s cheek. There was something undeniable sweet about the sight. They reminded Five a lot of Hazel and Agnes. He hoped they had a good life together with the time they had.

Despite the win, Lupo challenged him again. He sounded friendly, almost like he wanted to play just for fun. Before answering, Five looked off to the sky again; his day was soon to meet its end. He was losing track of time.

He’d play another three rounds.

**[?:?? PM]**

The sun was setting when Five, Vanya and Klaus waved goodbye to their new friends. Mr. Pennycrumb gave Five one last tackle and, if you listened closely, you could hear his heart shatter into two thousand pieces.

And, for Five’s ‘services’ of returning the little shit, Lupo tossed a quarter into his palm. “You’re fuckin’ annoying but I respect it. Stay in school and don’t do too many drugs,” were his last words of wisdom.

The house was in the far distance as the siblings walked towards the orange sunset. It would’ve been a perfect view if it weren’t for the rain clouds floating through.

They walked in comfortable silence for a while, until Vanya asked what Five wanted to do next. “I'd like to find the others,” he answered after a minute of thinking.

“Oh,” Klaus blinked at him, pleasantly surprised. “Why the change in heart?”

He shrugged, pretending it was a spur of the moment decision. “They’ve been running the whole day, I figured it’s time they take a break.”

Klaus and Vanya grinned at Five and his head shrank into his shoulders like a shy turtle as they _awww’d_.

“I think that’s a great idea,” said Vanya, rubbing his shoulder.

Five bowed his head, trying to hide his sheepish smile. “Oh, and before I forget,” he said after something struck his memory. “We need to make a stop at a florist.”

Vanya and Klaus looked at each other, then back at Five skeptically.

Klaus was brave enough to ask, “Are you getting roses for your lost lover—“

Five yelled ‘NO’ with as much conviction his tiny body could handle. Klaus still didn’t look convinced, neither did Vanya. They went along with it anyway and headed back into the busy city streets.

**[?:?? PM]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who don’t know, Mr. Pennycrumb and Lupo are from the comics. I’ll admit, Lupo is a wee bit out of character but he’s in retirement, he’s just tryna chill!
> 
> thank you to the lovely people on tumblr for helping me decide whether or not Five would like pineapple on pizza ;)) 
> 
> Tumblr: benny-phantom


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg we’ve made it to the end y’all ;,,))

**[?:?? PM]**

Despite his age, Five could vividly recall a particular memory from when he was seven: raindrops were hitting the glass roof of the greenhouse. The earthy smell of mud and wet grass met his nose. He was seated on his knees beside Grace, digging holes into the soil and carefully dropping seeds in. Grace insisted that growing their own food would help them eat healthier and when they eat healthier, they’d grow big and strong. Five liked that idea. Maybe one day he’d grow taller than Luther.

Allison walked in at one point and she curiously looked over their shoulders. She was uncharacteristically quiet, perhaps entranced by their mother’s soft humming. Five couldn’t blame her, he secretly liked it when Grace hummed and sang as well. It was sweet and calming, something Sir Reginald wrapped heavy chains around.

“Hey, mom?” said Allison, hesitantly. “Will we ever plant flowers?” She was glancing over to the other side of the greenhouse. Empty pots and broken equipment occupied that space.

“Oh, I don’t think so, dear,” answered Grace, “the scent makes your father’s nose itch.”

As Allison frowned, Grace's sweet smile softened. Five missed seeing that smile. He wondered if he would ever see it again.

“Perhaps I can ask him later tonight? I’m sure he won’t mind just a few,” said Grace.

Allison’s eyes lit up. “I wanna plant Daisies first. Ben says that different flowers have different meanings, and Daisies mean love and innocence.”

Five found this rather peculiar. Flowers having meaning behind them? It was childish to think that way; it was just nature and nothing else. And after Five told them this, Allison crossed her arms.

“Ben read it in a book so it’s probably true,” was Allison’s weak defence. “Right, mom?”

To Five’s surprise, Grace said yes. Apparently, roses symbolize love, Ivies symbolize friendship, Irises symbolize faith, sunflowers symbolize loyalty….

He still found this all ridiculous but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to help plant a few.

“Just don’t plant Lilies,” mentioned Allison. “Ben says Lilies are for when people die.”

Five looked to Grace and asked if this was true. “It is a popular flower for death,” she admitted after a second, “but it also means rebirth. It’s a very special flower. Special like you, children.”

She tapped Five and Allison’s noses gently with dirt and they giggled at how silly they looked. Everything that happened afterwards was fuzzy. It was so long ago and so mundane, Five never thought the memory would actually serve a purpose fifty years later.

Five brought a bouquet of Lilies to the front doors of what he remembered to be Griddy’s Doughnuts. The place was a boarded-up building that must’ve failed inspection. He wasn’t as sad as he thought he would be to see his childhood quite literally dismantled. The building was just so unrecognizable, his connection to it wasn’t fully registering.

The florist at the flower shop had asked what he wanted to be written on the note attached to the bouquet. ‘ _For Hazel and Agnes_ ’, was straightforward enough.

Five looked over his shoulder to his siblings. They were hiding under a black umbrella they bought from a street vendor. April showers had greeted them during their walk, and It became somewhat of a habit to blame Vanya for anything weather-related. She seemed to be doing fine though; It was Five who was mourning.

“Would anyone like to say a few words?” he asked.

Klaus and Vanya shared an awkward look.

“Uh,” said Vanya, clearing her throat. “I never really got to know them well...”

“And Hazel tried to waterboard me,” added Klaus.

Five gave them a disappointed look. “Hazel’s half the reason we’re alive right now.”

“He’s also half the reason I almost died,” said Klaus.

“You almost die all the time,” said Five and Klaus waved him off, refusing to take centre stage for once.

That left Five to speak. He stared at the Lilies, opened his mouth, then closed it and glanced away. A lot can be said through silence. Sometimes silence was enough.

Five placed the flowers on the ground. They must’ve found each other by now, wherever they may be.

He blinked out of his daze as Vanya tapped him on his shoulder. She put her fingers up to her lips, then invited her brother’s to listen closely to the distinct sound of someone quietly whimpering. Cautiously, they peaked their heads around the building.

That familiar yet uncomfortable feeling of pity in Five’s gut returned. They found Allison seated on a familiar briefcase with her knees to her chin and her poncho over her head.

There was nowhere else for her to run to; the mansion was not theirs to call home, her daughter was erased from history, their childhood at Griddy’s was a mere memory only the six of them shared. There was nothing familiar but the sun that was setting.

Klaus and Vanya looked at Five, anticipating his next move but he had already disappeared. Without a word, he had warped in front of Allison with a single Lily in hand. The longer it took for her to accept his gift, the more jittery he became.

“Oh, my God,” she said slowly. Five flinched as she reached for his sunglasses and yanked it off, now fully recognizing him from the crosswalk earlier.

Surprisingly, she didn’t stay mad. Her frown had become a tight-lipped smile that soon evolved into a full-on belly laugh. “What the hell are you wearing?!” she blurted, snorting without shame.

Five couldn't even be upset. He looked ridiculous.

After her laugh fizzled out, she kept her grin on but bowed her head and her bangs hid her puffy eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

There was a beat of silence before she answered. “It’d be nice if I had someone to watch the sunset with.”

Without question, Five sat on the pavement beside her. She accepted his lily and wrapped it around the handle of the briefcase. Vanya and Klaus joined seconds later, and the four watched the shining stars come out.

“Not to make this a total cheese-fest,” said Klaus, cutting through the silence. The rain had stopped by then. “But this view is absolutely breath-taking. We rarely get to see the stars in the city.”

Allison nodded in enthusiastic agreement, “Luther would love this.”

“...I actually know where we can find a better view,” said Vanya and curious eyes landed on her. Five, however, looked at her knowingly.

“I’m up for it.” Five stood back up and offered his hand to Allison, then Vanya, then Klaus. “Let’s find the rest of the gang, shall we?”

**[?:?? PM]**

Klaus had served as a navigator for their next stop, which was a place he visited often: the police precinct. The siblings waited outside while Five teleported on to the premises and looked for anyone familiar. By the main counter, he spotted his brother but not the one he expected. He tapped on his shoulder and they faced each other.

“What are you doing here?” asked Five at the same time Diego asked, “What the hell are you wearing?”

Five rolled his eyes. “You first.”

“Wanted to visit an old friend,” answered Diego.

“You don’t have friends.”

Before Diego could talk back, Five cut him off. “You didn’t happen to see Luther around here, have you?”

Diego raised his eyebrow before replying yes. “I found him hiding in a dumpster. Apparently, you tried to get him arrested? Kinda a dick move, bro.”

“You know what’s a dick move?” Five squinted, leaning in. “Recommending a cop bar to me. I was nearly sent to child services because of you!”

“Hey, smartass, you would’ve been caught regardless if it was a cop bar or not,” Diego argued back. “You’re a six-year-old kid in schoolboy shorts trying to order shots of vodka with the money you stole from your big brother’s wallet. You think people see past that shit?”

“Listen here--” Five paused, suddenly distracted by Diego’s amplified breathing. Every inhale sounded like there was gravel stuck in his throat, while every exhale was a pained wheeze.

“Did...did you not go to a hospital after I tripped you?” asked Five, genuinely concerned.

Diego cleared his throat. “It’ll sort itself out.”

“Diego,” said Five steadily, “you broke your ribs, like, eight hours ago. It clearly hasn’t ‘sorted itself out’. Go to a hospital.”

“Nah.”

“Diego.”

“I bought some Vicks VapoRub at the dollar store, I’ll be fine,” assured Diego.

Five was about to call him an idiot just as the lady detective from earlier started walking towards them. Quickly, he hid behind his taller brother and his straw hat cast a shadow over his face.

“Here,” Five heard her say, and Diego took whatever she was giving him.

“What’s this for?” Diego asked.

“It’s protocol to give out cards,” she replied a matter-of-factly. “Plus, you intrigue me.”

Diego was probably smirking, and it probably looked annoying. Five dragged him out of the precinct before he could do any more damage to the timeline.

**[?:?? PM]**

“What the hell are you wearing?”

Five groaned at Luther’s question. It was like no one had seen a teenager in Birkenstocks before.

In the alleyway, next to the one Five found Klaus in, Luther was hunched in the corner of a dumpster. The rest of the siblings hovered over him like they were looking down a rabbit hole. In their hands, they held cones of melting ice cream. Luther accepted the chocolate scoops that Five offered without question— unless you counted the obligatory query of ‘what the hell are you wearing?’ To which Five responded with threats of taking his ice cream away. The topic was immediately dropped.

They walked along the sidewalk and followed Vanya to their next destination.

Neon lights of the storefront signs reflected off the puddles that Klaus hopped into. Unsuspecting bystanders became victims of Klaus’ relentlessly splashing, and Allison was inclined to link her arms around his as if she was a safety lock for a child.

Walking behind them were Diego and Luther. Diego watched Luther in amusement as his chocolate ice cream spilled down his cone and onto his hand. Diego was nice enough not to make too many crude comments.

As for Five, he walked beside Vanya. It only took thirty years but finally, she was rewarded with ice cream.

The buoyant tunes playing through speakers became louder the further they walked down the street. Vanya pointed at the Ferris wheel in the distance, where the view of the city was as bright as the stars above.

**[?:?? PM]**

Five's eyes widened in childlike wonder as he stepped foot into the busy fair. He'd never seen a place emit so much energy. 

Not giving him a minute to take it all in, Vanya pulled Five into the crowd and towards the Ferris Wheel. The rest of their siblings eagerly followed behind. They were paired off in each cart: Diego and Klaus were the first on. Klaus waved down at them rather pompously; he was the queen and the ants below were his peasants.

Allison held Five’s shoulder before he could get in the next cart with Vanya. “I’d actually like to ride with Five if that’s okay with the both of you?” Allison asked politely.

Vanya nodded easily and she hooked her arm around-- or at least halfway around-- Luther’s. Confused yet delightfully surprised by Vanya’s friendly affection towards him, his eyes crinkled and it almost looked like he was going to cry manly tears. They hopped onto the cart and off they went.

The next cart came soon after. There wasn’t much talk between Five and Allison as the wheel began to rotate. The only sound was rickety metal rubbing against each other, sounding in need of an oil change. With each abrupt stop, their cart would rock back and forth. And as Five looked down at his dangling legs, he expected a couple of screws to rain down.

“Vanya was right,” said Allison and he looked back up. “This is definitely a better view.”

Five couldn’t help but agree. It was a beautiful view. The city building windows sparked yellow. Right above was the clear sky, expanding endlessly.

There’d be another pause before Five was brave enough to speak. “I’m sorry I ran away without notice this morning. I guess I just panicked a little.”

“Hey.” Allison tilted her head, trying to find his eyes. There was always something comforting about her warm smile— it almost made him melt. It reminded him of Grace. “Next time, don’t feel uncomfortable telling us you need a break. We’re here for you,” said Allison.

“I know that,” said Five.

“Are you sure?”

Five blinked at her and he considered her question carefully. “Maybe I wasn’t sure before, but I am now.”

“I’m glad.”

The Ferris wheel started moving again, then paused once they reached the very top.

“When we do eventually fix the timeline, maybe you’ll finally have time to meet Claire?” Allison suggested hesitantly. She tried to sound casual, but the way she tightly clenched on to the commission briefcase told a different story.

“I’d be honoured,” he told her.

Allison’s smile reached her eyes. He smiled back.

“Don’t tell the others,” she said, lowering her voice, “but I can already tell you’ll be Claire's favourite uncle. She thinks your powers are the coolest.”

Someone gasped in the distance and it somehow echoed. Behind them—passed Luther and Vanya’s cart— was Klaus clearly offended by what he just overheard. “What the hell, Allison?!” he yelled loud enough for her to hear. “I thought I was her favourite uncle!”

“She told you that just to make you feel better,” Diego scoffed. “Obviously, I’m her favourite uncle.”

“Diego, please," said Klaus, rolling his eyes. “You know I love you, but you look and smell like you tame feral raccoons during your downtime. How can you possibly be anyone’s favourite?”

Diego answered rather unhelpfully by pinching Klaus’s bare skin. Klaus yelped and immediately did the same to Diego. Their roughhousing somehow escalated into a slap fight, which then escalated into them pulling each other’s luscious hair, which was then accompanied by the spurring of toddler-levelled insults. In the midst of the chaos, Luther pouted, “I thought I was her favourite uncle….”

Vanya pouted with him. “Oh, it’s okay buddy, I think it’s kinda sweet. You guys get to share the title of ‘favourite uncle!”

“Easy for you to say. You’re her only aunt, you have the title all to yourself,” murmured Luther.

Vanya shrugged. She couldn’t argue that.

Allison made sure everyone was distracted when she whispered to Five, “Don’t worry, you’re her _real_ favourite.” And for some reason, he was inclined to believe her. The two rode the Ferris Wheel a few extra times, easing into their companionable silence.

**[?:?? PM]**

Alison and Five bumped into Diego and Klaus at the ball-throwing booth, where Diego whipped out a five-dollar bill and the host placed three baseballs in front of him.

“He’s winning me a prize,” Klaus informed them giddily.

Allison raised an eyebrow at him. “Weren’t you two trying to kill each other earlier?”

“That was forever ago,” said Klaus.

“It was 10 minutes ago,” corrected Five.

“Also, shouldn’t this be considered cheating?” mentioned Allison, gesturing at Diego. “Not everyone has his…. Skillset.”

“Can’t change the fact that I was born talented, sis.” Diego gave her a sly wink— which was actually him just blinking really quickly to create the illusion that he knew how to wink.

Above the tin cans, a bell ring like a boxer match was beginning. “Game time, baby." He gave a quick peck to the ball before throwing it towards the tin cans. It swerved unnaturally and flew through all three towers with ease. Diego’s fists went up victoriously. _Ding! Ding! Ding! Knock out!_

He turned and faced his siblings, displaying his winnings: a fluffy, pink teddy bear that hugged tightly to a red heart.

Just then, Vanya came running towards them with an equally giddy Luther trailing behind.

“Guys,” said Vanya, bouncing on her heels with pure excitement, “Luther broke the ‘ _test your strength_ ’ game and apparently that means he gets to be on the wall of fame! You guys should’ve seen it! The hammer literally bent 90 degrees!”

Everyone’s attention was pulled to a flustered Luther, and Diego tried to widely smile through it.

They’d watch with pride as Luther got his picture taken (he blinked), and it was hung on their wall for everyone to see.

An idea sparked in Allison's head: she led her family towards the photo booth where they squeezed into the small space the best they could. Their coordination skills could be seen through the result of their polaroids; blurry and indistinguishable— as if faulty evidence for the existence of the paranormal. Five kept the photos safely in his pocket nonetheless.

**[?:?? PM]**

They were headed to the restrooms when their path was blocked by an energetic performer with a rosy nose and fluffy hair that spilled out of her top hat like an overloaded bag of popcorn. She twirled around the siblings before handing them pamphlets. “It’d be a pleasure to see you, folks, at my show. It’s free, of course.”

Free entertainment: it must be a high-brow performance. They were broke anyway with all the food they’ve bought and prizes they carried.

They’d see the same rosy nosed performer up on stage. The audience sat on wooden benches, most of which were occupied by distracted children— and that included the Umbrella Academy.

The performance was about to begin:

“Come one, come all and listen to the extraordinary tale of the five mischiefs who roamed the 60s!” she announced. “Our story begins in Dallas ( _Dallas, Dallas, Dallas…._ )”

The backdrop changed into a rather poorly painted rendition of said city.

“1960 through 1963, there had been a spike in alien sightings— five to be exact. No, they were not green with solid black eyes, nor did they have antennas or tails or tentacles to probe you. No, no, these aliens blended in perfectly. Take, for example, the first of the five to arrive. He had two hands.”

She lifted her palms up to the sky, revealing a familiar set of tattoos.

“And two feet.” She stomped her feet to the beat of the drums coming from backstage.

“Perfect.” The drumbeat again.

“For.” Another beat.

“Dancing.” The drumbeat intensified and somehow transitioned to ‘ _Single Ladies_ ’ by Beyoncé. “You hear that? That is one of the many anthems that the alien shared with us! And soon would come the 2nd to arrive: a woman we often see in our school textbooks. She played a vital part in the civil rights movement of the 60s, and to avoid controversy we’ve nicknamed her, ‘Our True Queen’”

At this point in the performance, it became abundantly clear to the siblings that they were going to need to find a lawyer and shut this whole production down. Had they really made that much of an impact on history to have a one-woman show dedicated to them? Should they be offended or relieved that no one in the audience seemed to give a shit about said one-woman show?

“Then there was the third.” She held up three fingers. “He was the biggest of the group, the strongest of the group, the hairiest of the group. But don’t be fooled by the perfect facade.” She waved her hands in front of her face. “Because he’d become lovers with the one and only, Jack Ruby.”

Luther received concerned looks from his siblings. “I—“ he stammered, shaking his head rapidly.

“NEEIGHH!” yelled the performer and her mic peaked. “We then meet the fourth: the dark horse, the rebel, the one to be feared the most. It’s been rumoured that he was responsible for the assassination of President JFK.” She did the sign of the cross and sent a kiss to the sky to pay her respects.

“Last but not least— WHOOSH!— here comes the fifth, all in white. Clear. Pure. Innocent. Many had mistaken her as an angel sent from above. In actuality, she was a comrade in disguise….”

The performer faintly hummed ‘ _Rasputin_ ’ for about three minutes.

“The five were not without a victim. Come on a journey with me: close your eyes and imagine you’re thirteen. You’re in Dalla’s. You’re on your way to school then BAM! Alien abduction! Yes, this was what happened to one unsuspecting child. They kept him captive for ten days before taking him to their homeland, Uranus. I think about that little boy every day, and wonder if I were born in the 60s, if I was there when it happened, maybe… just maybe…” she fell to her knees. “I’d be able to save his life.”

The song, ‘ _I Dreamed a Dream_ ’ faded in.

“If she starts singing I’m leaving.” murmured Five under his breath.

She started singing.

Five left while his siblings stayed. They were offended by the performer yet wildly invested. It was like Klaus doing yoga: it was hard to watch yet you couldn’t quite look away.

**[?:?? PM]**

Somewhere along the way, Five wandered into a mirror maze. The main reason why he bothered with it was because of the sign in front that said “ _Nearly impossible to accomplish! Will you be a part of the 1% who make it through?!_ ” He imagined the sign had a condescending tone, similar to the Handler— cocky and insufferable.

The last of his dimes and quarters were dropped into the hostess’s hands. He stepped inside the maze; a buoyant song playing faintly in the background-- coincidentally the same song he heard in the bar. It was meant to serve as a guide towards the end, but he chose to ignore it and went on his own path.

Every twist and turn led him to a dead end. The mirrors stared at him as he came at a crossroads. It became quite jarring to see himself scattered everywhere at once-- almost as if the reflections were different versions of himself, and the only thing keeping them from meeting was a glass divider. He stopped to ponder: what were the other Five’s up to? Did they fix the timeline and restore peace to their chaotic lives? Or did they manage to mess things even more, despite their best efforts of avoiding such results? He looked into each mirror that surrounded him, waiting for a reply. None of them answered.

Staying in his spot, Five let himself breathe. Just listen to music in the distance, and it will lead to freedom…

He was never musically inclined— that was one of his only faults, at least in his opinion. He had no rhythm, had no idea how to listen and follow the beat like all his siblings could: that was one of the many lessons he missed out on during their childhood.

What was even the use of music? Vanya said it was freeing, that it allowed her an escape from reality if only just for a few minutes.

With every step forward, Five tried to find the beat. He was seconds off every time, yet he continued with confidence. It felt mischievous, somehow, to dance out of the realms of reality. But no one could see him, no one could judge him. He was alone now, he was free to focus on himself— focus on the beat of the song, of the sound of his tapping foot, of his pounding heart. There was a slight bounce to his heel and it matched his bobbing head. The chorus hit and his body swayed side to side. The music got louder. His feet moved faster.

Hundreds of reflections surrounded him, copying his every move.

Yet he danced like no one was watching.

**[?:?? PM]**

The fair was coming to a close. Five had lost his siblings yet again. He teleported in front of the entrance but there was not a familiar face in sight. He walked to the only place he had yet to visit.

The Super Star bowling alley was empty with only his siblings making a ruckus. Five found them crowded around a table, sharing a bowl of fries. He joined them without much of a greeting and took a sip of coffee that Allison had ordered.

“Oh, there you are,” said Allison breezily. Her smirk faded as she looked passed Five. Five followed her gaze and spotted the clock on the wall. _35, 36, 37, 38…._

“Times almost up,” said Diego, watching the clock as well.

Five nodded sheepishly and Vanya rubbed his back, offering comfort.

“So,” Klaus rested his chin on his hand. “Did you have fun today?”

Five pretended to think. It was not entirely what he expected, but then again, he had no expectations to begin with. Retirement, though the intent was to relax, has challenged his abilities in ways he was not fully prepared for. He reached the finishing line, but never quite planned what would happen once he ran through. Five remembered Hazel during their time at work together; Hazel would keep saying his next mission being the last, but it never turned out to be true. But then he met Agnes, and suddenly the other side of the red ribbon looked so much clearer.

Five looked around and met the eyes of each of his siblings. Things were definitely clearer with them around.

The verdict was in; “Today was okay,” he answered. Klaus snorted at his lacklustre answer.

Five looked back at the clock. _45, 46, 47, 48....._

“I mean, the day doesn’t have to end now,” said Luther shrugging his broad shoulders. The others raised their eyebrows and tilted their heads. “A thirty-minute game won’t hurt the timeline, would it?”

They looked to Five for an answer. He had already slipped on his bowling shoes.

With the shiny bowling ball in his hand, Five lifted it, aimed, and threw it down the slippery aisle. As he hit a strike, the clock turned:

**[12:00 AM]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was pretty fun to write, hope y’all had fun too! And tysm for the comments and kudos!! I'll probably come back to this and make minor edits when I have time. 
> 
> Till next time!
> 
> Tumblr: benny-phantom


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